Supporting Teenagers (Aged 13+) – Competency Standards for Domestic Helpers
This Care Standard provides domestic helpers with a professional, evidence‑based framework for supporting teenagers aged 13 and above. Adolescence is a distinct developmental stage marked by rapid physical, emotional, and social changes. By following these standards, you will provide age‑appropriate support that respects their growing autonomy while maintaining a secure environment.
Always consult the Child Profile in the system for any specific medical, emotional, or developmental needs before beginning your duties.
This Care Standard applies to all live‑in or live‑out domestic helpers who care for teenagers within the family home. It covers daily routines, life‑skills coaching, emotional support, privacy boundaries, risk management, and communication with parents.
Roles & Responsibilities
| Role | Key Responsibilities |
|---|---|
| Helper | • Provide practical support for daily routines (meals, laundry, scheduling). • Coach life skills (e.g., cooking, budgeting, time management). • Respect privacy and personal space. • Observe and report emotional or behavioural concerns. • Maintain daily logs and task forms. |
| Parent | • Set family rules, curfews, and screen‑time limits. • Manage major discipline and emotional crises. • Review daily reports and provide guidance on specific issues. |
| Teenager | • Participate in daily routines. • Communicate needs and concerns. • Take increasing responsibility for personal organisation. |
Core Principles
EDUCARE:
- Establish consistent routines that create security.
- Understand adolescent development (physical, emotional, cognitive).
- Develop a safe environment – physically and emotionally.
- Create opportunities for independence.
- Assess risks and support positive risk‑taking.
- Respect autonomy and decision‑making.
- Empower through life‑skills coaching.
S.A.F.E.:
- Support autonomy – encourage choices and problem‑solving.
- Assess risks – identify potential dangers without being overprotective.
- Foster resilience – help them learn from setbacks.
- Empower healthy choices – guide rather than dictate.
Daily Care & Support
Morning and Evening Routines
| Time | Action | Competency Note |
|---|---|---|
| Morning | Wake teenager once as agreed with parents. Do not repeatedly knock. | Respects autonomy and builds self‑management. |
| Morning | Ensure clean uniform and sports kit are available – laid out the night before. | Reduces morning stress; supports organisation. |
| Evening | Encourage teenager to pack their own school bag and prepare next day’s clothes. | Builds independence and responsibility. |
| Evening | Offer a healthy evening snack – not too close to bedtime. | Supports physical health and sleep hygiene. |
Do not wake a teenager more than once unless parents instruct otherwise. Over‑intervention undermines their ability to manage their own schedule.
Nutrition and Meals
Adolescents experience rapid growth spurts and increased nutritional needs. You must:
- Serve balanced meals including protein, carbohydrates, vegetables, and dairy.
- Provide healthy snacks such as fruit, yogurt, nuts, or whole‑grain crackers.
- Involve teenagers in meal planning and preparation according to their capabilities. This aligns with NOS standards that require involving children and young people in food planning.
- Respect dietary preferences and restrictions documented in the Child Profile.
- Never withhold food as a punishment.
Laundry and Personal Organisation
Teenagers should take increasing responsibility for their own belongings. Do not do everything for them.
| Task | When to Introduce |
|---|---|
| Put dirty clothes in laundry basket | Age 13+ – daily expectation |
| Sort laundry by colour | Age 13+ – with supervision initially |
| Operate washing machine | Age 14+ – after safety demonstration |
| Fold and put away own clothes | Age 13+ – independent |
| Iron simple items (e.g., school shirts) | Age 15+ – with supervision and safety briefing |
If the teenager is not yet doing these tasks, offer gentle reminders: “Your uniform needs to be in the basket by 8 pm so I can wash it for tomorrow.”
Fostering Independence (Life‑Skills Coaching)
Working in partnership with teenagers to make decisions about their clothing, appearance, money, personal space, and social activities is a core competency. You are a coach, not a carer for a younger child.
Practical Life Skills
| Skill | Teaching Approach | Safety Note |
|---|---|---|
| Simple cooking (eggs, pasta, sandwiches) | Demonstrate first, then supervise. Allow independent practice. | Never leave a teenager alone with a gas stove or hot oil. |
| Using the microwave | Teach safe container use and heating times. | Remind that metal containers are forbidden. |
| Grocery shopping | Ask them to find items from a short list. | Discuss budgeting and comparing prices. |
| Basic budgeting | Involve them in planning for a small purchase (e.g., snacks for a trip). | Never disclose family financial details. |
| Time management | Encourage use of a phone calendar or planner for homework and activities. | Do not micromanage – step back unless parents request otherwise. |
Money Management
You must never:
- Lend money to the teenager.
- Give them access to cash or cards without parent permission.
- Discuss family income or financial struggles.
You may:
- Remind them to check their wallet before going out.
- Suggest they track spending if parents have given them a weekly allowance.
Personal Space and Privacy
Adolescents need private space to develop their identity. Always knock and wait for a response before entering their bedroom.
- Do not look through their phone, bag, diary, or personal items unless a parent instructs you to do so for a specific safety reason.
- Do not rearrange their room or tidy their desk without permission.
- Do ask: “Would you like me to collect your laundry now?” rather than entering unannounced.
Respecting privacy builds trust and models appropriate boundaries.
Emotional Well‑Being & Communication
Teenagers experience significant emotional and social changes. Your role is to listen without judgment, recognise signs of distress, and communicate concerns to parents.
Recognising Emotional Distress
Watch for these indicators (adapted from child protection standards):
| Area | Signs to Observe |
|---|---|
| Mood | Persistent sadness, irritability, anger outbursts, withdrawal |
| Behaviour | Skipping meals, avoiding friends, losing interest in hobbies |
| Physical | Unexplained weight change, poor hygiene, sleep disturbances |
| Social | Reluctance to go to school, avoiding family members, secretive phone use |
| Safety | Self‑harm marks, talk of hopelessness, giving away possessions |
Immediate action: If you suspect self‑harm, suicidal thoughts, or any safety risk, contact the parents immediately. Do not leave the teenager alone. Use emergency services if parents cannot be reached.
Managing Mood Swings and Conflict
Adolescent mood swings are normal. Do not take bad moods personally.
- When the teenager is grumpy or quiet: Give them space. Say, “I’m here if you want to talk,” then step away.
- When they want to talk: Listen actively. Do not interrupt, judge, or offer solutions unless asked.
- When there is conflict: Stay calm. Do not shout, argue, or take sides. If they refuse to follow a family rule, remind them once calmly: “Your parents expect you to finish homework before screens.” If they still refuse, step away and report to parents later.
What not to do:
- Do not yell, shame, or name‑call.
- Do not threaten to tell parents as a first resort – this damages trust.
- Do not physically restrain or touch the teenager in anger.
Supporting Positive Relationships
Encourage healthy social connections without interfering. If they invite friends over:
- Provide snacks and a clean space.
- Step back unless you see unsafe behaviour (e.g., substance use, bullying).
- Report any concerns to parents after the visit – do not confront the teenager’s friends directly.
Health & Safety
Physical risks change as children become teenagers. Focus on where they are, who they are with, and their online safety.
Knowing Whereabouts
If parents allow the teenager to leave home alone:
- Always ask: “Where are you going? Who will you be with? When will you be back?”
- Write this information down in the daily log.
- If they do not return on time: Call parents immediately. Do not search for them alone.
Online and Screen Safety
- Follow parents’ rules regarding Wi‑Fi access, screen time, and devices.
- Do not give the teenager extra screen time or passwords without parent permission.
- If you see concerning online activity (e.g., bullying, explicit content), report to parents. Do not confiscate the device yourself.
Substance Use and Risky Behaviour
Risk‑taking is a normal part of adolescent development. Your role is to provide a safety net, not to panic.
| If you see or suspect | Action |
|---|---|
| Alcohol, cigarettes, or vapes in their room | Do not touch. Report to parents immediately. |
| Signs of intoxication (slurred speech, unsteady gait) | Keep them safe. Do not leave them alone. Call parents. |
| Drug paraphernalia or strong odours | Call parents immediately. If parents cannot be reached, call emergency services. |
| Secretive behaviour or sneaking out | Document and report to parents. Do not confront alone. |
Never shame or lecture the teenager in the moment. Focus on safety first.
Administrative Tasks & Communication
Daily Logs
Complete daily task forms accurately. Include:
- Meals eaten (or missed)
- Homework completion status
- Mood and behaviour notes (e.g., “Quiet today but cooperative”)
- Any incidents or concerns
- Departure and return times if they left home
Example entry:
16 April – Leo ate breakfast and lunch. Completed maths homework independently. Seemed tired after school. Left at 3 pm for basketball, returned 5 pm. No concerns.
Immediate Alerts
Contact parents immediately (by phone or message) if:
- The teenager breaks curfew and does not come home on time.
- You smell smoke, alcohol, or notice anything dangerous in their room.
- They sneak out of the house.
- They are injured or mention wanting to hurt themselves.
- They show signs of severe emotional distress (prolonged crying, aggression, withdrawal).
If you are ever unsure, stop and contact the parents. You are part of a team working to keep the teenager safe and supported.
Emergency Procedures
| Emergency | Action |
|---|---|
| Injury requiring medical attention | Administer first aid if trained. Call parents. If parents cannot be reached, call emergency services. |
| Severe allergic reaction | Follow Child Profile instructions. Use EpiPen if available. Call emergency services. |
| Self‑harm or suicidal talk | Do not leave the teenager alone. Call parents immediately. If parents cannot be reached, call emergency services or a suicide helpline. |
| Fire | Evacuate the teenager. Follow family fire drill. Call emergency services. |
| Intruder or violence | Keep the teenager safe in a locked room. Call police. Contact parents when safe. |
Quick Reference: Age‑Appropriate Expectations
| Area | Age 13–14 | Age 15–16 | Age 17+ |
|---|---|---|---|
| Morning routine | Wake independently with one reminder | No reminders needed | Fully independent |
| School bag | Pack with checklist | Pack without checklist | Pack and manage own schedule |
| Cooking | Simple meals with supervision | More complex meals with occasional help | Cook full meals independently |
| Laundry | Put away own clothes | Use washing machine with supervision | Full laundry responsibility |
| Money management | Track allowance spending | Simple budgeting for outings | Plan weekly budget with parent guidance |
| Homework support | Quiet space provided | Minimal prompting | Independent study |
| Emotional support | Listen and validate | Listen, validate, and coach problem‑solving | Respect privacy, offer support when requested |
Final Reminder
- Always check the Child Profile first – medical, emotional, or family notes override general guidelines.
- When in doubt, ask the parents – never assume or guess.
- Your calm, respectful, and consistent presence is the foundation of trust. Trust is what keeps teenagers safe and willing to communicate.
This Care Standard is aligned with:
- UK National Occupational Standards (NOS) for Children’s Care, Learning and Development (CCLD), which set the benchmark for childcare competence from birth to 16 years.
- The EDUCARE Framework
- The S.A.F.E. Framework